On the Outside Looking in.

Mandie asked me recently how my perceptions have changed since starting the hormones. The hard reality is that I feel like I am on the outside looking in most of the time, almost a 3rd gender. For instance, when hanging out with the "guys" I feel completely out of place. I have never been into sports, and as I transition the common thread I held with men is dissipating rapidly. On the other hand, I am identifying more with women but I am not there just yet. I certainly have a much better understanding of the maintenance that goes into hair,makeup and nails. I am much more understanding now when my wife & daughter are pms'ing and can cry at the drop of a hat.

As a guy, there are many things I did not understand about women. Since starting the hormones, I have better understanding of how they perceive men, the world, everything. I have an easier time making female friends sometimes to my wife's dismay, but women are generally more comfortable with this then men. A lot of men it seems are either threatened or just do not know how to relate to me anymore as much as i don't relate to them. Leaving the house is a challenge at times. I am "in between" so to speak.

I am perceived not as male or female and most people don't have a clue what to think of me. The only people who tend to be completely comfortable are those who accept me as a person, not as a gender.

 ~Zoe

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 Hmm, well there are tons of things I can think of to say about how relating to Zoe has changed. She is certainly easier to get along with. We still have the same basic "debates". "where is x item?" "you had it" "no I didn't, you did" etc etc, we still have real life. Bills, kids, jobs. Ultimately though it is easier for us to shut up and listen to the other persons point of view.

I am getting to know Zoe slowly. Sarcasm is my strong suit, as *M* he would never be offended by some of the off the wall stuff that comes out of my brain. I find that sometimes I have to stop and think before I blurt something out as not to offend her. She is much more sensitive now on so many levels. At first it was pretty surreal, but I am adapting.

~ Mandie