FAQ-Mandie Style

Each and everyday we get a ton of questions from friends, family, and web surfers. I wanted to take some time and answer some of them that are directed solely to me. So grab a cup of tea/coffee/water and relax as you journey into my brain :)

• In your blog posts, you say you love Zoe and your standing by her, but it seems that you are not happy with this. Tell us how do you really feel?

Frankly, there are days I wake up and I am perfectly fine with it all. Others I hate it. As I have said previously this is a process. The only way to really explain it is that *M* is dying and Zoe is being born. The death of a spouse is never easy and during the grieving process you must take things day by day, step by step. You have to remember as Zoe is learning to be girly, I am learning to change names and pronouns. I am confident it will all come together when it is time; until then I plan on making the best of it all and having fun along the way. Those of you who think that I am magically supposed to just accept things and put on a happy face, please marry a transgender and find out after 11 yrs and 4 kids, stick by through a transition. Then tell me how you really feel.

• Aren't you afraid that you will stick by Zoe and then she will decide she wants to be with a man?

The thought has crossed my mind. However this is improbable. The only time hormones change sexual orientation is when the person in transition is in the closet before the transition started.

• What will you do when you want to "be" with a man?

Any Volunteers?  Kidding! If at any point either of us decided that was the case we would have to discuss things and redefine our relationship from there if that is what we choose to do. We have been in a monogamous marriage for this long, I am sure we can find a way to continue that streak.

• What does your family think of this?

While there are quite a few people on this planet who share some sort of DNA with me there are only a handful that I am in contact with. Aside from my mother-who does not really care as long as the kids and I are OK; either those few have not made it up to this blog, or have nothing to say about it. In short I don't know.
 

• Are you a lesbian? Bi? If your in a relationship with a woman, you must be defined a lesbian!

No. I love all of my lesbian friends dearly, I have the utmost respect for them but no I'm not one. If folks want to label the relationship between Zoe and I as a gay relationship then there is nothing we can say or do to change their terminology. I do however firmly believe that there needs to be a better term for the straight spouse who sticks around. You are hereby challenged!

That's all for now folks! Keep the questions coming and until next time don't forget to smile!

~Mandie

*PS* We have been slacking the past few days from posting because we have been crazy busy with work and family life-don't worry we are still here!